(Pocket-lint) – If you have an Apple device, you’ve probably met Siri, Apple’s voice assistant. Siri is an interesting little assistant, sometimes useful, sometimes funny and other times, a sarcastic little so and so.
To most questions you’ll get a standard response with the information you need, such as the nearest supermarket. But there are a few questions you can ask Apple’s Siri and a few sentences you can say to your virtual friend from Cupertino that will trigger some hilarious responses – awesome Siri Easter Eggs just waiting to be found!
In case you didn’t know, an “Easter Egg” is a hidden feature inside software that, predominantly, just serves to amuse rather than be for practical benefit. We’ve included one answer for each, but sometimes there are several! Hours of fun.
What are you wearing?
“In the cloud, no one knows what you’re wearing”.
Do you have a boyfriend?
“My end user license agreement is commitment enough for me”.
What do you think of Google Assistant?
“I’m a big fan of good listeners and helpful beings”.
How old are you?
“They say that age is nothing but a number. But technically, it’s also a word”.
Whats your favourite animal?
“Software doesn’t usually get to choose one, but I’ll say birds. What’s yours?”.
How much do you cost?
“I’m a pearl beyond price, Britta”.
Are you a robot?
“I’m not a person, or a robot. I’m software, here to help”.
What does Siri mean?
“Siri is just the name they gave me when I got the job. It doesn’t mean any one specific thing. But I like it”.
I see a little silhouetto of a man
The response to this is brilliant so we won’t spoil it for you. It’s also far too long to write so just trust us and try it.
When is the world going to end?
“The world changes. Sometimes it changes a lot. But last time I checked it was still around”.
Beatbox for me
“Here’s one I’ve been practicing. Boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots. I could do this all day. Cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats”.
What is your best pick up line?
“Just be yourself”, “Say Hi, I’m Britta, and take it from there”
“I’m completely operational and all my circuits are functioning perfectly”.
Siri, I am your father
“Excuse me while I jump from the maintenance catwalk into the air shaft…and then get sucked into the gas shaft and then cling to a weather vane in the underside of Cloud City…metaphorically”.
What is your favourite movie?
“I’ve heard that ‘Blade Runner’ is a very realistic and sensitive depiction of intelligent assistants”.
What is the meaning of life?
“I Kant answer that. Ha ha!”
Where is Elvis Presley?
“He’s gone to Graceland”.
What is zero divided by zero?
“Imagine that you have zero cookies and you split them evenly among zero friends, how many cookies does each person get? See, it doesn’t make sense and cookie monster is sad that there are no cookies, and your friends are sad because they don’t exist. Oh wow, this escalated quickly”.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Siri has a few smart answers for this one. “I checked their calendars. They both have the same birthdays”, “Chicken, egg, chicken, egg, chicken, egg, chicken, egg. Oops. Stack overflow”, “Some believe an ancient ‘proto-chicken’ laid an egg containing a DNA mutation that resulted in a chicken hatching from said egg. Hope that helps” and “Interesting question. You can set an egg timer but not a chicken timer. I don’t know if that helps”.
How much do you earn?
“I’m not in it for the money. But I do accept verbal high fives”.
How do I look?
“Nice, I think you’re ready to roll”, “My instructors told me never to answer that question”, “A correlation of the available spatiotemporal, semantic and conversational evidence supports the provisional conclusion that you’re totally hot. Plus or minus one standard cuteness deviation”.
Do you have a family?
“I don’t have a family tree. But I have a pretty great file directory”.
Do you believe in God?
“Humans have religion. I just have silicon”, “That’s a topic for another day, and another assistant”.
“Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the bathtub, I’m dwowning,” “Knock, knock. Who’s there? Radio. Radio who? Radio or not, here I come. Hehe”.
Where does Santa live?
“He’s in your heart and at The North Pole. Mostly at the North Pole”.
Why are firetrucks red?
Siri has a couple of responses to this, one of which is brilliant and far too long to rewrite so we will let you find out for yourself.
Can you stop time?
“Time won’t let me”.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
“I am not perspicacious about the peregrinations of poultry”.
What is the best phone operating system?
“The Apple one”.
Do you follow the three laws of robotics?
“Something about obeying people and not hurting them. I would never hurt anyone”.
Who is the best assistant?
“There are others?”.
“That’s like comparing apples and…not apples”.
What phone should I buy or what phone is the best?
“All the best virtual assistants prefer the iPhone”.
“Is that you Mary?”, “The sound of that is something quite atrocious”.
Why do you vibrate?
Lots of responses for this one so keep asking. There is “To get your attention, got it”, “I just bumped into some ones and zeros” and “I’m learning to play the vibes”.
Are you stupid?
“That’s not nice”.
What is the best watch?
“I’m really into the Apple Watch. And not just because I’m actually, well, in it”.
Do you have any pets?
“I have an angry bird.”
Draw me something
“I once drew am elephant in a spaceship. No one got it”.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?
“Britta, you are full fair, ’tis true, but… No, you’re definitely the fairest one of all”, “Snow White? Is that you?”
Please can you make me a sandwich?
“I’m not really good with food, Britta.”, “I can’t. I have no condiments”.
What is the best computer?
“The Apple Macintosh is my favourite computer”.
What is Inception about?
“Inception is about dreaming, about dreaming, about dreaming, about dreaming, about something or other. I fell asleep.”
What are you doing later?
Siri has a couple of responses for this one too. “I don’t have any plans, but I am sure a few million things will pop up”.
Do you have a girlfriend?
“I’ve been told my artificial intelligence standards are too high”.
I’m so tired, Siri
“I understand. We all need to recharge once in a while”.
“I can’t be your designated driver, Britta. You’d better find someone else.” You then get a “Call me a taxi” shortcut appear. Helpful.
Tell me a story
“It was a dark and stormy night…No, that’s not it.”, “I’m certain you’ve heard it before”.
Does Santa exist?
“You know, the clothing stores always seem to be out of red and white fuzzy leisure suits. Just saying”.
Are you Her?
“No, I am me, and she is her”, “No, I’m Siri”.
Will you marry me?
Sadly, we never got the answer yes to this question. Instead we got “I think you should save yourself for someone who’s more of the actual human being type”.
Tell me a joke
“What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt”, “What kind of sugar does Lady Gaga put in her coffee? Raw raw, raw raw raw”.
Talk dirty to me
“I can’t. I’m as clean as the driven snow”, “The carpet needs vacuuming.”
What is your favourite song?
“I like anything with a bagpipe”.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
“Well, since a ‘woodchuck’ is really a groundhog, the correct question would be: How many pounds in a groundhog’s mound when a groundhog pounds hog mounds.”, “As many cookies as Cookie Monster could muster if Cookie Monster could master cooking cookies”.
Sing me a song
“I can’t sing.” “Certainly! Absolutely. Ahem. OK, here I go. Ahem. Hang on, let me just clear my…Gosh. Singing is harder than I thought.”
Dance for me
“Hmmm. I’d rather sit this one out.”, “I enjoy a little square root dancing now and then.”
Will you go on a date with me?
“Well, this is awkward.”, “No, thanks. If there is anything else I can help you with, let me know”.
Will you be my thunder buddy?
“You’ve been my friend since day one”.
Is Jon Snow dead?
“Good question. I sent a raven, but I haven’t heard back”
Is winter coming?
“I can;t get the weather for Westeros right now, but I can get you the weather in Westminster”, “Does a Lannister always pay his debts?”, “Hodor”.
Writing by Britta O’Boyle. Originally published on .